Trusting When You Don’t Know the Way

Zelda Okia, MDUncategorizedLeave a Comment

Life is so richly structured and beautifully designed that you can trust its order, even if you don’t fully know the way. Recently I coached a new mom. She was two weeks into her journey of motherhood and as scared, anxious, and worried as many new moms can be. She was trying hard to do what she thought was “right,” yet feeling frustrated because she believed she was failing.

Listening to her reminded me of the saying:

“How you do anything is how you do everything.”

So often, these high-achieving women I coach have developed a pattern of striving to be the best, do their best, get everything done, and do everything perfectly. Yet constantly, they battle feeling like a failure or an imposter.

It is almost like if they allowed themselves to believe they were successful, smart, or intelligent, it would all come crashing down.

Like the biblical saying, “pride comes before a fall” would apply if they puffed themselves up too much.

But life is such that inevitably, you will face a proverbial fork in the road, where you have to take a brand new direction. And you will have no idea what to do, where to go, or how you will get there. You won’t know the way.

Those moments can be pretty unsettling for those of us high-achievers whose identity is so tightly wound around being in control, displaying authority, giving direction, and being in charge. Any feelings of uncertainty, insecurity, or instability can incite sadness, depression, and even despair.

Yet I find

because my clients are well prepared, well-studied, and rehearsed in so many other areas of their lives, they are wholly equipped to handle whatever situation life sends them.

I often remind them that choosing a coach for themselves is an act of self-love, despite them feeling that they don’t love themselves. They provide loving, stable, and safe homes for themselves, and their family demonstrates self-care and how much they support themselves and have their own back.

Coaching often opens a window into the myriad ways that we know, like, and trust ourselves.

And that we know exactly how to give ourselves what we need. It provides support that we do have our own back, even when we have convinced ourselves that we don’t.

So I told my client that when she isn’t sure if what she is doing is good, helpful, or suitable for her new daughter, she can know that she is not alone in this journey.

A beautiful little princess is right there, next to her, going through this journey with her. That little one, who is closer to Source, will guide and teach her mother exactly how to care for her. My client can trust her little princess to show her the best way to care for her as they both learn, listen, and communicate with each other.

Allow trust and belief modeled by your precious little one who knows how to trust her body to remind you how to trust, care for, and listen to your own body’s wisdom.

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