Rebounding on Good Things

Zelda Okia, MDUncategorizedLeave a Comment

We tend to focus on the tangibles — the things we can see, touch or feel. What we experience in reality is where our minds focus when we look to make changes.

And this is a good thing.

You often notice a problem when it is impossible not to notice it. You don’t notice your weight gain until you see yourself in the mirror or try on clothes, and suddenly they don’t fit anymore. Maybe you go shopping for clothes and find yourself in an unfamiliar department.

I experienced this when I went from a size 10 to 16. Suddenly, I couldn’t just shop in the usual places. I had shifted to PLUS sizing.

Those tangibles are available and valuable, and they are a good thing. You can focus on bad behaviors and quickly work to change them. That is what I did in that 12-week weight loss program I completed several years ago. It wasn’t an easy program, and I did lose weight. But I was miserable and regained the weight back when the program ended.

Focusing on the tangibles often is the easiest thing to do. You can stop doing x, y, and z and get a relatively quick result. You can attend meetings, get support from a group, and feel good about the thing you are no longer doing.

But what about that thing? Is it really gone?

It may be physically absent from your life, but is it still very present and active in your mind? Is it still occupying precious real estate in the deeper portions of your brain? Is it still somehow calling all the shots?

Is the desire for chocolate still present even while you dutifully eat your tasteless, bland salads?

Are you sure you are not just replacing one bad habit with a good one?

When I stopped eating muffins, cookies, and ice cream, I did replace them with exercise, salad, and occasionally tofu — all good things. I hear stories from former smokers who suddenly notice an increase in eating and weight gain when cutting back on cigarette smoking.

I call this rebounding on a good thing.

You are no longer in that bad relationship with someone who mistreats you. You have moved on. But sometimes, you find yourself remembering those good times with your ex, even while you sit contently in a more solid relationship.

Absolute freedom is when you can be in the room with that favorite piece of chocolate, that cute, desirable ex, that pack of cigarettes — and know without a doubt that you absolutely, positively, do not want it. That no amount of money could ever make you return there.

If this seems impossible to you — let’s talk. Your better life is calling — are you listening? It starts with a decision.

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