Lessons from Past Relationships

Zelda Okia, MDUncategorizedLeave a Comment

I like to compare past and current or future relationships to an estuary. Estuaries are transition zones between where freshwater from a river meets the saltwater of the sea. The mixing of seawater and freshwater releases high levels of nutrients into the water and sediment and makes estuaries some of the most productive natural habitats in the world.

For many of us, past or even current relationships evoke memories of wrongdoing, resentment, and pain. We then bring these memories into future relationships, dooming them to a similar fate.

If not careful, these memories can cause us to give up hope of having better relationships in the future.

But what if instead of a constant focus on wrongdoings from a past relationship; you chose to sit and start to piece together the individual parts and pinpoint where the breakdown began to occur. Where were the mines buried? In the beginning? In the middle? Towards the end?

When did the beautiful tapestry of the relationship begin to unravel?

When did old patterns begin to emerge?

There is wisdom in revisiting mysteries of old, past relationships and answering the questions that emerge?

What can be gained from studying old minefields and playbooks from the past?

Can there be reward in courageously opening your heart to new opportunities and possibilities?

I remember one relationship that led me to the book The Road Less Traveled. I gained so much wisdom from that book and ultimately from that relationship.

I learned about myself through revisiting and understanding what went wrong.  I did not use it as a reason for blame and I was able to forgive myself for the mistakes that I made. I did not beat myself up for things that I did not know. I learned from it.

Those moments that I spent alone, analyzing what happened, later became an inspiration for a deeper connection with myself and informed future action in relationships.

Let the mixing and interaction of memories from your past become an estuary for combining opportunities in the present and future. 

Allow the estuaries of your mind to stir up nutrients to enrich the soil of your life. 😊

Let go of past hurts and open your heart to the happiness of the present moment.

Join us on Tuesday, February 1, at 5:30 pm for Path to Joy — Building Empowering Relationships. www.zeldaokia.com

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