Imagine if the present were perfect.
Do you struggle with being present or accepting your present circumstances? Are you caught in the fantasy of how things will be for you in the future? Or maybe you feel as if your best days are behind you?
Boy have I been there. Not very long ago, I was longing for the past, for simpler times. I thought of my childhood days when I didn’t have a care in the world. My life truly was simpler back then.
However, if I am honest, back then, I was constantly dreaming of now.
I thought of how great it would be in college, then living on my own, then making my own money.
Is it really so difficult to live in the present?
I still get excited when my husband and I go out to eat at a restaurant. There is this anticipation that comes over me when I look at the fancy names for drinks on the menu. The names always make me think they will taste amazing.
Imagine names like “grasshopper ice cream cocktail,” berry spice,” or “luscious mango tango.” What do they make you think of?
These names make me think of sitting in a beachside bar/cafe in coastal Florida or Mexico.
And when the beautiful drink arrives, I gulp it down, expecting to be transported somewhere. But once the drink is finished, I want another one; because I was not transported.
I am still in the same boring situation where I was before.
What? You mean that drink or that dessert doesn’t have the power to “take me away.” Remember that old Calgon commercial? “Calgon, take me away!”
Nope. I am still here. Still sitting at the bar with the same old, tired surroundings.
How often do we feel that way?
My husband was nice enough to accompany me to some fabulous restaurant, and all I can think about is that I want to be somewhere else or with someone else. How often do we do that? We deny one great experience for another even better experience that exists only in our mind.
We equate desire with food.
It starts as children. There was so much positive emotion when we ate. We were nourished from our mother’s breast. If she gave us a bottle, she held us close, shared our warmth, and gazed into our eyes. She squeezed our hand or our leg.
Our brain has not and likely will never forget the comfort we received when eating.
So there is no need to beat yourself up if you are an emotional eater.
But at some time, you do have to grow up. Great experiences and wonderful emotions from our past can drive us forward, but if you know that these emotions are keeping you stuck in the past, you have to move on.
Or, if emotions about some fantastic future are keeping you from truly loving and experiencing all that your present has to offer; then it is time to start perfecting your present.
What is it about your present that makes it so difficult to enjoy or appreciate?
Does it not boil down to your thoughts. Think about the words I used to describe my experience at the restaurant above…the ”old, tired, surroundings?” Is that how you view your home, your family, your spouse, your job?
In one of my exercises with my coach, she asked us to make a list of 25 things we want to have in our lives. Then she asked how many of us included things that we already have?
I never thought to include things I already had.
So let us begin with gratitude. Imagine that the present is perfect. What if you already have everything you need to live a fabulous life?
Image your life is already as fabulous as it is supposed to be.
How would you behave? How would you treat your house, your kids, your spouse, your body? How would you act if you truly believed the present is perfect.
If you would like to explore this or any other issue further, do not hesitate to contact me. Also if you live in the Milwaukee/Waukesha area, I will be at the Good Harvest Market in Pewaukee, Wisconsin on Wednesday May 29 at 6pm speaking about “Why We Get Fat.” I would love to see you there.