Accepting the New You

Zelda Okia, MDUncategorizedLeave a Comment

Are you in the process of re-labelling yourself? I am a Forensic Pathologist, but now I am also adding the label of life and weight loss coach. I have struggled with my own weight issues. I remember a sense of hopelessness and resignation navigating my way through the department stores as I went from the “junior” sections, to “women’s,” to “misses,” and eventually found myself in the “plus size” section. I struggled with calling myself “plus-sized.” It was a new label for me at the age of forty. Many people also feel this way after losing a significant amount of weight. They have become comfortable with labels such as “fat girl.” Or view themselves as the “happy, fat friend.”

But when this fat girl suddenly becomes thin, then the role of “fat girl” doesn’t fit anymore. And she may also have to deal with the added attention of boys or men who used to ignore her.  In the book “Hunger” by Roxanne Gay, the author describes a moment when she is losing weight and she begins to feel better in her body. “I breathe easier. I move better. My clothes fall over my body the way they should.” But then, “I get terrified.”

She goes on “And then I worry that I am getting ahead of myself. I worry that I won’t be able to keep up better eating, more exercise. Inevitably I stumble and then I fall, and then I lose the taste of being free.” She describes feeling like a failure AND feeling ravenously hungry.

Yet what is forgotten is that all of this is who she is.  It is all the same. She has the same mind, the same thoughts, and the same feelings. Many of us believe that when we lose the weight, our lives will be perfect. 

How often do we think “if only……” If only I were thin…” “If only I were married….” If only I had a child….” And what usually comes next…..”then life would be perfect.” But what does that mean? Is life not perfect without those things? Or do we have to wait to be happy until we have those things? Why not decide to be happy right now? Right where we are. Right now with who we are?

Yes, I did say decide. Because this is a decision. We can decide to be happy now, with the situation just as it is. Our circumstances do not determine our happiness. We can decide how happy we choose to be despite our circumstances. Strange, huh? Did you realize you have that much power?

I like the analogy of “concealed carry.” We are carrying all this power, all the wisdom, all this beauty inside; yet we do not recognize it and unfortunately, neither do the people we really want to reach with our message. Why not allow 2019 to be the year you break out of your rut and finally start accepting yourself and living from your truth. Concealed carry NO MORE!!

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